Tricking the Tallyman: The Great Census Shenanigans of 1790

In 1790, the infant U S Government sent out 650 marshals to tally its citizens so that laws and taxes would be fair.

When the tallyman, Phineas Bump, rides into Tunbridge, Vermont, he is exhausted and homesick. He hasn't seen his wife in three months, and he is out of supplies: ink, quills, and paper. But he is determined to do his job.

The people of Tunbridge are determined to make his job harder. They are under the impression that the tally will be used for taxes and the conscription of able-bodied men as soldiers, so they turn Mr Bump away and he has to spend the night in a nearby grove of pine trees. In the morning, although he is stiff and sore, he is ready to count. So why does the town appears to be deserted?

He knocks on Mrs Pepper's door, who had denied him a bed the night before. She claims to be a childless widow, all the trundles and cradles he sees are for the convenience of her animals. All the other houses in town are deserted. So the tallyman counts “one free white female” and posts the results on a tree so that anyone can bring disputes, if necessary.

He knows he's been played for a fool.

As soon as Mr Bump has gone, Mrs Pepper's oldest son, Boston, arrives and informs her that he's been to the next town over and the census will be used to determine the level of representation in the government in Philadelphia. So it's good to be counted, they should count as many as possible!

The next morning, Mrs Pepper disputes the findings of the census, forcing Mr Bump to recount. He has not even a scrap of paper left, so Mrs Pepper and the town must supply paper and quills and ink before he can even begin. He also must be fed before he can begin and his cloak, which is threadbare, must be mended. There's no way he can possibly spend another night in that grove of pine trees, either. So after a huge meal, a feather bed, and his cloak having been mended so that it looks like new, he begins his recount.

He begins with the Peppers. Besides Mrs Pepper, there is her “recently returned” husband and their fifteen children. The illustrations show that two pigs, a cat, two dogs, and a sheep in clothing are included in the count. The same sort of thing happens at the other houses in Tunbridge until his count equals 1,726 people! Again, Mr Bump has to post the results so that they can be disputed if necessary.

And again, Boston bursts through the door sharing a conversation he had with a passing stranger. The census is intended for determining taxes, conscripting soldiers, and for sending men to represent Tunbridge in government. So they don't want to be over-counted either.

So Mr Bump must recount again to get the number right: 487 people. Tunbridge will go down in history as the village who tricked the tallyman – twice!

If you want your student to learn about American history, but your child only wants to read humor, here  is one that will make everyone happy!

First of all, these jaunty illustrations perfectly capture the humor of trying to trick a tallyman who is wise to the ways of the world. Children will savor the illustrations, using them like seek-and-find puzzles. The predictability of the recounts will tickle their fancy.

Secondly, I love the word “shenanigans” and it aptly sets the mood for this tale of tongue-in-cheek humor. Adults will appreciate the skepticism of the townspeople, the reminder that mistrust of government has been around since...well, since the beginning of government, and the fact that conspiracy theories have abounded throughout all time. Like is so often the case, the truth is somewhere in the middle.

CONTENT CONSIDERATIONS:

Mrs Pepper declares, “Devils and deuces!” and “Clever devils, they be!”