MID-LIFE CRISES (AND HOW NOT TO HAVE THEM)

A few years ago, just before a move to a new state, I began to wonder to myself, “Who am I?” and “What do I like?” I was “Gerben's mom,” yes, and darn proud of it, but who else was I? I had been happily homemaking for many years, homeschooling my kiddos, and trying to be a homesteader (not much luck with this.) I didn't have many hobbies or interests of my own because I was lost in providing outlets for the interests and hobbies that everybody else in the family had. I had lost myself.

I have looked back and I can't seem to pinpoint the exact moment I decided I needed to find myself again.

Maybe it was when I finally joined Pinterest and saw all the beautiful things other people were producing. Maybe it was when my daughter started being an entrepreneur at the age of 9. Maybe it was all genetically or hormonally predetermined to happen at a certain time.

Now, three companies in, I feel like myself again. Meadowlark Market allows me to use my (limited) creativity to make beautiful things, while keeping costs low and encouraging sustainability. Meadowlark Books gives me an outlet to build my home library to its highest potential and to help others do the same. And Meadowlark Mama allows me to give encouragement and tips to others who haven't been on this journey as long as I have. And to read with no regrets, because it's “work.” These expressions of my interests kind of help me “float” above the tasks that I have to do day in and day out. They could be likened to a life preserver, the old-fashioned kind that fastened around the neck and only kept your head barely above water.

            Now don't get me wrong. I firmly believe that homemaking and homeschooling are one of the highest callings a woman can have, but they can sometimes be mistaken for drowning. When the kids are little you are their whole world and have to resort to locking the bathroom door to have a quiet moment. And when they're older, you're chaffeuring and directing and waiting so much that you still don't have a moment to yourself.

It's important not to lose track of yourself in this others-centered process.

Find something, anything, you can do for you, something you enjoy, something that focuses on the good, the true, and the beautiful. Something that you've been wanting to do for a long time, or an improvement you've been wanting to make. Some take up painting, flower arranging, or knitting. Some go to the gym, join a book club, or learn a foreign language. Some take a pottery class, a cake decorating class, or a rock-climbing class.

            And then of course, the trick is to make time to do it. I know, I know, it's not possible to physically “make time.” But reserve some time for you and your mental health.  Allow your branches to grow up to meet the sun's rays. Allow your roots to grow down and sip from the underground reservoirs of imagination. Allow this process of new growth to permeate your perspective. Allow the feeling of wonder to return. If you don't, you may never get out of that hole you're in.

If you still feel yourself slipping into obscurity, phone a friend. If you can't think of anyone who'd understand, give me a call. Use code word PINTEREST and we'll talk. I'll ask you all about yourself and we won't talk about kids or curriculums or booklists at all (unless you want to.) It's time.

And after all these years, I'm still proud to be “Gerben's mom.”